word vomit.

yesterday i was sitting outside my front door smoking a cig which i should be quitting but anyway the point is i was sitting there in nike running shorts and an old berkeley tee (why do i have this?) but it was probably around 60 degrees farenheit outside and everything just felt calm and i liked the feeling of the breeze against my skin and i felt a little cold but not really and i could totally smell autumn.

what i'm trying to say is i never really felt anything like that because for the past year i was so caught up in something delusional something that most of us call love love fucks us over all the time it fucks us over real good whether you're the one who broke someone's heart or your heart was broken and i realized that i'm done.

i'm done with that because being in that situation that situation where you're so happy because of someone when that person isn't going to stay forever it just makes your world spin you become so dependent on something you shouldn't because in life you should only depend on yourself and you shouldn't look for other sources of happiness because you should be happy yourself no matter what and you don't notice the perks that come with living you can't even enjoy the simplest thing as feeling the seasons change because you're caught up in something that ends up not being real...

something that forces you to grow up.

something that makes you so much stronger than you think you are.

you'll keep experiencing this.

/end