n/a

time to start something new.

things.

• black and white photographs of people skateboarding
• highly-contrasted colored photos of asian alleys
• little kids dressed in burberry
• cobble-stoned streets
• unisex dress shoes
• champagne
• anything chanel
• dreaming of owning a yacht
• denim on denim
• hong kong
• white cement boxes/cubes
• fast, sexy, expensive cars that my boyfriend would drive
• big floppy hats in the summer with floral dresses
• puppies
• majestic dogs
• fingerless leather gloves
• black beanies
• men who dress well and have taste
• ...PEOPLE WHO DRESS WELL AND HAVE TASTE
• admitting that money brings happiness
• calvin klein boxer briefs
• dreaming of owning the perfect loft in manhattan
• views of the city
• the han river in seoul
• a big frame-less bed with fluffy white covers
• drinking wine and reading books about f*cked up people wondering what it'd be like to know people like that in real life
• greek mythology and architecture
• anything bright blue like the LA sky and oceans
• voluptuous naked women as sculptures or depicted in paintings
• pop art
• the color pink
• coffee that's too sweet
• the cartier love bracelet
• korean game shows
• leopard-print anything
• pharrell
• pablo neruda's poems
• looking at tattoo blogs
• spectacles with no lens
• a weird sense of humor
• cupcake shops
• kiki's delivering service
• christmas time
• hot cocoa
• .............. just that perfect look.

californ-i-a!

where every day's a friday.

yeah right.

i [only] love cali in the summertime. sometimes.

but not even.

make up your mind.

there's this feeling i get when i think of californian suburban areas, for example glendale, riverside, san jose, any damn city in the OC, etc... i wish i could put this feeling into words, but all that's running through my mind are images of friends and me driving around wide, empty streets smoking cigarettes (small centers with liquor stores, supermarkets, sandwich delis, boba places align these streets), drinking in the car, pulling up to random house parties. and of course it's 110 degrees outside.

you dig?

this song is fitting my mood really well right now:

i don't know why i keep calling you.

i love fall fashion. i love fall colors.

[all via carolinesmode]

word vomit.

yesterday i was sitting outside my front door smoking a cig which i should be quitting but anyway the point is i was sitting there in nike running shorts and an old berkeley tee (why do i have this?) but it was probably around 60 degrees farenheit outside and everything just felt calm and i liked the feeling of the breeze against my skin and i felt a little cold but not really and i could totally smell autumn.

what i'm trying to say is i never really felt anything like that because for the past year i was so caught up in something delusional something that most of us call love love fucks us over all the time it fucks us over real good whether you're the one who broke someone's heart or your heart was broken and i realized that i'm done.

i'm done with that because being in that situation that situation where you're so happy because of someone when that person isn't going to stay forever it just makes your world spin you become so dependent on something you shouldn't because in life you should only depend on yourself and you shouldn't look for other sources of happiness because you should be happy yourself no matter what and you don't notice the perks that come with living you can't even enjoy the simplest thing as feeling the seasons change because you're caught up in something that ends up not being real...

something that forces you to grow up.

something that makes you so much stronger than you think you are.

you'll keep experiencing this.

/end

something sheer (for me, please!)

autumn is here... and even though i may be somewhere else in a few weeks (somewhere very very cold), i crave a sheer, black maxi skirt.

[img src style.com, mr.newton, altamira]

breathe in breathe out

and it's all crystal-clear.

now i know.

hollywood inspiration

[i think] all images via fashiongonerogue

grandpa

the head of the korean mafia bows to you and looks up to you.

you give him $1000USD for the hell of it whenever you see him.

true baus life.

life

M: 그런데.. 어떻게그렇게참아?
T: 살아야하니까.. 살아있는동아는아무것도끝나지않잖아... 좋은일도나쁜일도결국다지나가는거니까...

underground shopping center at the terminal (with LIA!!!)

what did i buy today? i don't remember and i'm too lazy to open my bags.

1) white oxfords - i've always wanted oxfords and the pair i bought were around $50USD, and that's pretty pricey for the area i shopped at.
2) light denim button up - not really a fall trend, but i always wanted one.
3) cheap, big-framed glasses
4) studded military boots - they look like the steve madden boots i wore the life out of the past year but the studs and silver buckles just looked too good... plus they were only $50USD.
5) khaki anorak - my most regretful purchase today... it was only $13-14 but i saw so many prettier/better quality ones after!!! of course koreans don't do refunds...
6) tribal-print, silk skirt - more summer-y, but it's not short at all so i think it's wearable in the fall.

what else... drawing blanks here...

7) grey, sweater-like long thing that's sort of see-through
8) nude+beige+orange-ish (ew) long-sleeve silk dress top

i can't think of anything else, but i might as well stop because my descriptions are sucking. i'm pretty sure there should be a few other pieces though.

i still want a thin, silk-ish, nude-colored, long (wow i'm picky) blazer. i actually saw a lot today, but i didn't want to spend even more $$$.................

so much i want. my next "big" purchases will include the fujifilm instax camera and the ipad.

i just hope i care when i'm back in the city of angels.

creativity at its best

cool.

i've been missing out a lot recently because i have no one to go out with here. yes, i'll say it loudly and proudly!!! i am officially a loner/loser in seoul. there was a puma promotional party in 압구정 a few nights ago and some of the cast from 김탁구 showed up. and all of the 2AM members. and other celebs i'm in love with. but i was at home rolling around on the ground trying to fall asleep so that the next day would come quicker.

i miss finding horrendous pics of us on random club photogs' blogs...

and the shoes pictured above are just too damn cool. if i were a guy at the puma party and saw a girl rocking those, i'd fall in love with her instantly.

flakers?

i admit; i'm a flaker.

i make dates to meet up with not-so-close friends, but when the time comes around to meet up with them, i just feel so lazy. i have to be in the mood to meet up with you because if i'm not, i'll just bluntly tell you that i'm too lazy to meet up with you.

at the same time, i hate it when people are late. it's 12:45PM right now. i'm supposed to meet a friend i haven't seen in a while at 12:50. he just called and said he'll be an hour late.

(technical) difficulties.

it's hard deleting my old posts... the ones i wrote as a senior at USC. such a memorable time of my life. (i'm being 100% sarcastic right now.) ha, i make it seem like it was ages ago, when it wasn't at all...

it's hard not because i feel emotionally attached to them, but because i really just don't know how to delete posts.

cheers!

this bag is mine.

black on black diego bucket - alexander wang

:D

hello and goodbye!

do you ever feel like you're missing out?

as if everything good is happening somewhere else?

i want to be part of the "in-crowd". i'm not talking about hanging with the popular kids because these groups of people don't really exist anymore in the non-schooling world, but i'm talking about being around people i can learn from. or going to all the places i want to go to, even here in seoul.

i want to experience everything.

i don't understand people who enjoy being alone. i'm jealous of them. i wish i was more independent. loneliness kills me... it kills me very slowly. i'd rather do everything with a friend than do some things alone. does that even make sense? it makes sense to me.

buyer's remorse.

staying home --> boredom --> watching a lot of tv --> looking through (but getting sick of) magazines --> trying to read a novel --> more boredom --> restlessness --> just lying down and thinking... A LOT.

so the end result is... too much on my mind. tootootootootootootootootooooo much. every single person i've ever met in my life has said to me, "i think way too much." even when i'm being judgemental (we're all guilty) and assume that someone's skull is empty (you know, when his/her expression is just blank and you can say that he/she looks "dumb"), this person will say to me, "you know what, jessica? i think too much."

obviously, we all think a lot.

it's just a bad thing when we use our chaotic minds to make us unhappy.

i want to blog more often.

i'm finding so many useless things to do these days... at least i'm occupied by these things, but i wish i could just sit and write away here.

Seoul or LA?

new music, fresh magazines...

i can smell fall.

and there's so much i want to buy.

what changed your life?

look of the day: jessica hart

random thought: wouldn't it be cool if my last name was HEART? ... i guess that isn't really possible, so what if i changed my middle name to "heart"? koreans don't really have middle names anyway, so...

anyway, i'm getting sick of floral these days but i own so many floral things. and jessica's outfit is simple and chic... love the studded converses (i need a pair!) and the fringe purse... fringe is in this fall, everybody!!! wooooooooooooooo. her accessories make floral look not too fem.

time to start my dreaded work day.

best look i've seen in the past few weeks.

alexa chung at the mulberry pool party

food for thought.

if i go back soon, i go back to nothing.

that's what makes me open my eyes each morning. that's what keeps me going here. that's what keeps me... alive.

i feel it.

"love ballad" by brown eyed soul to... get high, so high that that i feel like lying down in a cigar. roll me up up & smoke me cause i feel like dying... only once the drugs are done that i feel like dying...

we played hard.

proud of my koreans.

got so sick of wearing red though...

"but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"...but now i find i can't stop wanting. i want to fly somewhere on first class. i want to travel to europe on a business trip. i want to get invited to the white house. i want to learn about the world. i want to surprise myself. i want to be important. i want to be the best person i can be. i want to define myself, instead of having others define me. i want to win, and have people happy for me. i want to lose and get over it. i want to not be afraid of the unknown. i want to grow up to be generous and big-hearted, the way that people have been with me. i want an interesting and surprising life. it's not that i think that i'm going to get all these things. i just want the possibility of getting them."

korea: 2, greece: 0

the greatest thing in my life is... myself.

right now, it's not about solving the way i am... it's about letting things happen the way they're supposed to happen.

an unexpected friend told me recently, "it's interesting how the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning."

i thank this friend.

i've had the biggest urge to delete this blog, but then all of my thoughts would go to waste. i decided i'll just update even more now, being here in seoul.

what i've learned: be strong for the people who love you.

and that's all you need to know.

literate and stylish

kissable and quiet

that's what girls' dreams are made of.

is that really scarjo on the right?

they must've photoshopped her head onto that bod... even though her body WOULD look like that. love.

summertime is almost here, and that means i'm going to wear huge bows and flowers in my hair every day. ;)

these illustrations sum up my life perfectly right now.

i know i use the words "perfect" and "amazing" too much, which is quite ironic because i never feel perfect or amazing.

lore vigil-escalera (aka lov-e) is tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. lov-e these.

times are changing, and i don't like it one bit.

i came across this really sick quote recently. it was in a little book at urban, and it said something along the lines of, "it's not that we're going through hard times, it's that we're getting out of too-good times." no, that was way wrong... anyway, it was optimistic and made me smile.

we went to pick up our caps and gowns today. besides the very rude and awkward conversation we had with the straight-up THUGS usc hired for the whole cap+gown pick-up thing (they talked funny and had huge sleeve tatts), i felt so sad. so so so very sad. i tried everything on for daniel and michelle, and i actually like the black robes and red sash combo. USC graduates look very regal. i love USC and loved my times here and it feels surreal that i'm graduating from such an amazing 4-year academic institution.

on to the next one.

i'm NOT crazy.

has something like this ever happened to you?

i was looking at a random blog and saw the most random picture of a nicely-decorated white room. it wasn't anything special, but looking at it for literally one second brought about this sharp pang of serenity. (and the smallest tear to my right eye. yes, just my right one.)

i can't say that i was elated all of a sudden, but i felt for a millisecond a type of peacefulness i really want to feel.

(th)inspiration

i've always thought that international magazines have better spreads than US ones... anyone agree? these photos are so beautiful... and i have nothing else to say.

[all images from fashiongonerogue]

darling baby here's my gift to you: my heart and my soul. i wouldn't just give that away.

effortless chic

i saw this spread a while ago but came across them again at fashiongonerogue... can't believe it's from vogue paris 2006!?

ZEE LOOK OF ZEE DAY!

source: stockholmstreetstyle

just had an amazing chief sesh with the roomie and bestie, mich... zoot. i shouldn't be saying this stuff on the internet... one day (and that day is coming real soon), i'm going to have to make my facebook private. wait, i think that is already private. made my photos private too.... but i mean, one day, i'm going to have to make my twitter private. make this blog private. i don't want to go into the working world... scratch that, i don't want to work for a place (i.e. corporate, cubicled out environment) that's going to take away my freedom of speech. i know i'm being extreme right now, but all these thoughts are springing up out of nowhere and i can't stop talking.

i love this. always.

anyway, just ran into the above pic and couldn't stop staring at the girl's outfit. looks way too perfect right now... i wish i could rock it.

scratch that.

i can rock it.

ha...

this is what i live for.

j'aime (many) silver rings worn at once, hot pink suede pumps, every picture i've ever posted on this blog, being in love, and last but not least... my city. nothing like living in LA.

nothing to do. so here's the look of the day:

anja rubik at the chloé show in paris

listening to james fauntleroy's "bed time."

i'm spent.

maybe it's my manly tendencies?

but why do i love all these bro-ish commercials? my love for beer commercials (especially the old ones with the dos equis guy who only had an awkward moment cause he wanted to) hasn't died. but these new old spice commercials are HILARIOUS. need to post these for my own frame of reference... aka i can look back several weeks/months/years from now and laugh.

perf.

it's hard to find something that's ideal, something that just blows your expectations away. i want an ideal life, an ideal appearance, but i don't look for the ideal in anything else. ideal boyfriends? who cares. ideal love? what is an ideal love?

we work when our thoughts collide. our overactive, chaotic minds work well together. sometimes we'll be sitting in front of each other not saying much, but at those times, aren't the simple "i love you"'s just so adequate?! i didn't know until now how important it was for two people to share the same passion for things. how could our musical taste be so alike? fashion?

the one who reads men's vogue while i devour all the magazines i enjoy next to him.

and (all forms of) ART? DESIGN? TRAVEL? ANYTHING CULTURAL? MORE LOVE? MORE FOOD? (no more food for me, please...) throw it all at us. we embrace with open arms.