word vomit.

yesterday i was sitting outside my front door smoking a cig which i should be quitting but anyway the point is i was sitting there in nike running shorts and an old berkeley tee (why do i have this?) but it was probably around 60 degrees farenheit outside and everything just felt calm and i liked the feeling of the breeze against my skin and i felt a little cold but not really and i could totally smell autumn.

what i'm trying to say is i never really felt anything like that because for the past year i was so caught up in something delusional something that most of us call love love fucks us over all the time it fucks us over real good whether you're the one who broke someone's heart or your heart was broken and i realized that i'm done.

i'm done with that because being in that situation that situation where you're so happy because of someone when that person isn't going to stay forever it just makes your world spin you become so dependent on something you shouldn't because in life you should only depend on yourself and you shouldn't look for other sources of happiness because you should be happy yourself no matter what and you don't notice the perks that come with living you can't even enjoy the simplest thing as feeling the seasons change because you're caught up in something that ends up not being real...

something that forces you to grow up.

something that makes you so much stronger than you think you are.

you'll keep experiencing this.

/end

something sheer (for me, please!)

autumn is here... and even though i may be somewhere else in a few weeks (somewhere very very cold), i crave a sheer, black maxi skirt.

[img src style.com, mr.newton, altamira]

breathe in breathe out

and it's all crystal-clear.

now i know.

hollywood inspiration

[i think] all images via fashiongonerogue

grandpa

the head of the korean mafia bows to you and looks up to you.

you give him $1000USD for the hell of it whenever you see him.

true baus life.

life

M: 그런데.. 어떻게그렇게참아?
T: 살아야하니까.. 살아있는동아는아무것도끝나지않잖아... 좋은일도나쁜일도결국다지나가는거니까...

underground shopping center at the terminal (with LIA!!!)

what did i buy today? i don't remember and i'm too lazy to open my bags.

1) white oxfords - i've always wanted oxfords and the pair i bought were around $50USD, and that's pretty pricey for the area i shopped at.
2) light denim button up - not really a fall trend, but i always wanted one.
3) cheap, big-framed glasses
4) studded military boots - they look like the steve madden boots i wore the life out of the past year but the studs and silver buckles just looked too good... plus they were only $50USD.
5) khaki anorak - my most regretful purchase today... it was only $13-14 but i saw so many prettier/better quality ones after!!! of course koreans don't do refunds...
6) tribal-print, silk skirt - more summer-y, but it's not short at all so i think it's wearable in the fall.

what else... drawing blanks here...

7) grey, sweater-like long thing that's sort of see-through
8) nude+beige+orange-ish (ew) long-sleeve silk dress top

i can't think of anything else, but i might as well stop because my descriptions are sucking. i'm pretty sure there should be a few other pieces though.

i still want a thin, silk-ish, nude-colored, long (wow i'm picky) blazer. i actually saw a lot today, but i didn't want to spend even more $$$.................

so much i want. my next "big" purchases will include the fujifilm instax camera and the ipad.

i just hope i care when i'm back in the city of angels.

creativity at its best

cool.

i've been missing out a lot recently because i have no one to go out with here. yes, i'll say it loudly and proudly!!! i am officially a loner/loser in seoul. there was a puma promotional party in 압구정 a few nights ago and some of the cast from 김탁구 showed up. and all of the 2AM members. and other celebs i'm in love with. but i was at home rolling around on the ground trying to fall asleep so that the next day would come quicker.

i miss finding horrendous pics of us on random club photogs' blogs...

and the shoes pictured above are just too damn cool. if i were a guy at the puma party and saw a girl rocking those, i'd fall in love with her instantly.

flakers?

i admit; i'm a flaker.

i make dates to meet up with not-so-close friends, but when the time comes around to meet up with them, i just feel so lazy. i have to be in the mood to meet up with you because if i'm not, i'll just bluntly tell you that i'm too lazy to meet up with you.

at the same time, i hate it when people are late. it's 12:45PM right now. i'm supposed to meet a friend i haven't seen in a while at 12:50. he just called and said he'll be an hour late.