(technical) difficulties.

it's hard deleting my old posts... the ones i wrote as a senior at USC. such a memorable time of my life. (i'm being 100% sarcastic right now.) ha, i make it seem like it was ages ago, when it wasn't at all...

it's hard not because i feel emotionally attached to them, but because i really just don't know how to delete posts.

cheers!

this bag is mine.

black on black diego bucket - alexander wang

:D

hello and goodbye!

do you ever feel like you're missing out?

as if everything good is happening somewhere else?

i want to be part of the "in-crowd". i'm not talking about hanging with the popular kids because these groups of people don't really exist anymore in the non-schooling world, but i'm talking about being around people i can learn from. or going to all the places i want to go to, even here in seoul.

i want to experience everything.

i don't understand people who enjoy being alone. i'm jealous of them. i wish i was more independent. loneliness kills me... it kills me very slowly. i'd rather do everything with a friend than do some things alone. does that even make sense? it makes sense to me.

buyer's remorse.

staying home --> boredom --> watching a lot of tv --> looking through (but getting sick of) magazines --> trying to read a novel --> more boredom --> restlessness --> just lying down and thinking... A LOT.

so the end result is... too much on my mind. tootootootootootootootootooooo much. every single person i've ever met in my life has said to me, "i think way too much." even when i'm being judgemental (we're all guilty) and assume that someone's skull is empty (you know, when his/her expression is just blank and you can say that he/she looks "dumb"), this person will say to me, "you know what, jessica? i think too much."

obviously, we all think a lot.

it's just a bad thing when we use our chaotic minds to make us unhappy.

i want to blog more often.

i'm finding so many useless things to do these days... at least i'm occupied by these things, but i wish i could just sit and write away here.

Seoul or LA?

new music, fresh magazines...

i can smell fall.

and there's so much i want to buy.

what changed your life?

look of the day: jessica hart

random thought: wouldn't it be cool if my last name was HEART? ... i guess that isn't really possible, so what if i changed my middle name to "heart"? koreans don't really have middle names anyway, so...

anyway, i'm getting sick of floral these days but i own so many floral things. and jessica's outfit is simple and chic... love the studded converses (i need a pair!) and the fringe purse... fringe is in this fall, everybody!!! wooooooooooooooo. her accessories make floral look not too fem.

time to start my dreaded work day.

best look i've seen in the past few weeks.

alexa chung at the mulberry pool party

food for thought.

if i go back soon, i go back to nothing.

that's what makes me open my eyes each morning. that's what keeps me going here. that's what keeps me... alive.

i feel it.

"love ballad" by brown eyed soul to... get high, so high that that i feel like lying down in a cigar. roll me up up & smoke me cause i feel like dying... only once the drugs are done that i feel like dying...

we played hard.

proud of my koreans.

got so sick of wearing red though...

"but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"...but now i find i can't stop wanting. i want to fly somewhere on first class. i want to travel to europe on a business trip. i want to get invited to the white house. i want to learn about the world. i want to surprise myself. i want to be important. i want to be the best person i can be. i want to define myself, instead of having others define me. i want to win, and have people happy for me. i want to lose and get over it. i want to not be afraid of the unknown. i want to grow up to be generous and big-hearted, the way that people have been with me. i want an interesting and surprising life. it's not that i think that i'm going to get all these things. i just want the possibility of getting them."